Nearly three years ago my life as I knew it imploded. My husband whom I still adored suffered a massive coronary. He was only 53 and so it seemed in perfect health. We were happy together and he was my best friend. We could finish each other’s sentences. We had been married since 1989 and we had two sons. We were utterly devoted to each other and had never looked at another person since we met in 1985.
I spent two years in a haze of anxiety, depression and breakdown. My children survived but not because of me. Somehow or other last Spring I managed to sell our house which was haunted for me by terrible sadness and ghosts of what should have been. I bought another home for us in London free of memory. At some point a dear friend sent me The Spectator with a note saying “one day you should get in touch with this person”. ‘This person’ was Sarah of Carpe Diem.
I moved house and waited to feel better and very slowly I did start to feel stronger. But my self-confidence was at rock bottom. I had no new clothes and I barely went out or entertained or wore make-up. Then one day I picked up my copy of The Spectator and there was the advertisement for Carpe Diem winking at me. I took a huge terrified breath and rang Sarah.
Instantly I felt drawn to her and trusted her. It was ABSOLUTELY that she did not care about the fee; only that she understood my sadness and seemed to want to hold out the hand of friendship to me. No-one else seemed to care that I was only in my early 50s and had no-one in my life other than my sons. And it was not enough to spend my life like that.
I loved talking to her and she made it clear that I could take my own time over this. I left it for weeks and thought about it. She did not call me which I deeply appreciated. I rang her again and we met for coffee close to my home and I liked her even more. I thought, as I still believe, that she truly CARED about what would happen. I recall asking her if there was any chance I might be able to meet someone again. I trusted her to say that I needed to change and do whatever was necessary. But she said I was fine as I was. Then she came to see me in my home which is SO important because she could see what I like, my style, that I love books, my garden etc.
I felt in the safest possible hands. I felt that she would protect me and my boys, that she would always look out for my happiness and theirs and that there was no risk. She made it clear that I could set the pace and go slowly as I had been out of circulation forever. But she made me feel that I could be attractive again and loved and find someone to love. She did not make any silly promises or any assurances; only that we could make this journey together.
I met three men very simply and innocently and when for whatever reason there was no chemistry Sarah simply handled the situation so that I was relieved of all worry and anxiety. Now it’s possible that I have met someone, we have huge amounts in common and there is a chance that we may go forward together. There is every possibility that I am going to be able to love someone again which hitherto had been out of the question.
I cannot say how happy I am now and equally happy to have met Sarah. Whatever happen, my life is richer emotionally than it was and without her there was just an emotional desert ahead of me. Now there is an oasis and a dream rather than a nightmare.
I would have trusted her with my life. I feel her intuition, her real CARE and most of all I trust her to protect me and my sons ….. and I am so fortunate to have made contact with her.
One year on…